John Rambos privit jernal
I found John Rambos diary and I'm going to post it here so you can all read what Rambo's days are really like ...when he's not making movies or blowing up shit. Its a little old since he has'nt updated since the 80's. Now that we're fighting the taleeban maybe he will update again soon eh?

JOHN RAMBOS� journal

january 1 1984

hello journal

I have decided to start riting things down as the thots come to me

January30 1985

I had a thot today , but I forgot it already.

january 31 1985

no one shood be reading this but if anyone is I wanted to explain somthing about the outside of it . I went to ekards to try and pick up a journal but they didnt have any of the good ones left so I had to get this crapy one. I wanted to get one of those traperkeepers with all the cool folders and places for your pens and it comes with a ruler and everything. it even has a place to convert units of measuer and stuff. but if your reading this I had to get this one because I only had enouf for the journal and a dr pepper and i was realy thirsty. i dont� no what hello kitty means so dont ask me. if you do I'll punch you in the head 72 times.

January32 1985

maybe i should start this off with some stuff about me .

Im a member of the us special forces, green berets,� navy SEALs, the rangers, SWAT, WIPE, and the mickey mouse club

I dont like ham,

I like shoes,

I dont like communists ,

I like afganastans,

I can fly anything in the world, EVEN A SPACE SHUTLE,

I can drive anything in the world EVEN AN OIL TANKER.

I cant figure out how to get 12:00 off my vcr,

I can load� High explosive rounds AND fire them AND drive the tank AND� fire a machine gun, AND program a Heet seeking Stinger missle all at the same time ALL by myself.

I dont like commercials on tv

I like that show� Mr belveder

my middle name is� gordon

I always get the eggs over my hamy at dennys

i can tie a square not

I like making rice crispie treats

i tried out for the US olympic bob sleding team in 1980 (i was an alternate)

ill rite more later when I think about� it, goodnight journal

Febyoowery 3 1985

went to fight the Russians last night . got some cool stuf to use when i got there. I had some explosif timers that were fun to use. I also got this kick ass bow and arrow set. it had explosif tips and every time i shot some body they were blone to smithereens! I only got hert a few times this time. I was almost burned by napalm, I got shot in my leg, I got a chunk of wood throo my liver , I got hit with a stick about 37 times, someone trid to sqweez my guts out of my ass, I got knocked off a horse wile I was playing a afganastan game, and I got stung by a bee. Im reely tired now, Im gonna go to bed, goodnight journal.

Febyoowary 4 1985

I� thought I should tell about that game I played in afgantistan. Its called� buzkashi. you take this goat and cut all his heads and legs off� except one leg. they use that leg for a handle. then you soak him in cold water for a day so it wont fall apart, then you drop it� on the ground and draw a circle around it called the circle of justice. then all of the guys on horesback get to try to pick it up by the leg and run it around 2 poles and drop it back into the circle. sounds easy huh ? but all the other riders get to try to beat the stuffings out of you while you do it. there dont seem to be any rules to this game, if you think braining the other player will make him drop the goat then do it I gess. it was fun until the russians showed up and started blowing us all to hell.

for more information

martch 20 1985

Today was a rotten day. I was feeling sick this morning when I woke up so I was only able to do 659 situps before I threw up all over the house.� I decided that I shood eat something and found a can of chiken soup in the kitchen. I didint have a can opener so I used a claymore mine instead. that didnt work very well . so i had to find somethign else to eat instead.� Slept most of the day and watched Mr Ed and Leave it to Beaver.

martch 26 1985

that creepy kid that I gave my necklace to� in� afganastan called again today. I just let the machine pick it up. i didint want to talk to him because all he ever talks about is jihad this and jihad that. hes really starting to bug me.

martch 27 1985

went bowling with the kernal tonite and got into a agruement with him about going to Thailand to rescue some hostages.� I told him "my war is over" and he just walked off in a huff. then a boeing 747 crashed into the bowing alley and I lost my score on my game . damn. goodnight journal

martch 28 1985

it was my birthday today and the kernal bought me a bunch of cool stuff.

I got a new rag to tie around my head. a hole bunch of ammo for the M-60, some new boots, a butt load of bandaids, a karate kid video, 6 roket propelled granades, a new nife with a flamethrower on it, a new NIKE tank top, and a birthday trip to Thailand! wow!

April 5 1985

well that trip to thailand was a ripoff. turnds out the kernal was just trying to trick me into freeing those hostages , i wasnt going to do it but he said they had a puppy in there too,� so I had to . accidently exploded 3 hostages though.....

herts I got this time:

dehydration, burned myself with my own nife, got shot in the other leg this time, passed� a kidney stone,

broke 2 fingers, got poked in the eye six times, (the same eye all six times!) almost got run over by a hovercraft but got a bad� indian burn from that instead, 2 concusions, and I was blone up 4 times.

I got to fly a helecopter and a concord jet though and that was kick ass!

May 9 1985

things I like: new ammo, puppys, cheetos, mr belvedere, bowling, poping my nukles, yelling, shooting things, pac man, fruit loops, sunrises, walking� on the beach, driving my tank, the way gas smells

the kernal, beans, molly ringwald, blowing up things, new head bands, sweating,

riding my skateboard, ABBA.

things I dont like: getting shot, getting my bones brocken, cookie crisp cereal, terrorists, falling out of helicopters, when someone touches their eyeball with ther finger, mrs pac man, mean dogs, hornets, broken glass on the beach,mean people, brocoli, excercising, accidentally driving tank off cliff, Rocky movies, skinned knees.

may10 1985

I got in a fender bender today. I was driving� up the street to the convenience store to get some nacho doritos when some idiot pulled over into my lane. he scratched my paint but there wasnt really any damage to ether car. what made me mad was that he said it was my fault and started saying he was gona sue and that his neck hert.

I got tired of agrueing with him and filled his car with 7000 armor percing rounds from the .50 caliber in the ring turret on my car. then I went to Quikway and got my doritos.

May 11 1985

JUNe 17 1985

terorists tride to hijack my apartment today. I have no idea why.

herts I got this time:

burned all the hair off my eyebrows when I accidentally pointed the rong end of my bazooka at them and blew out the wall between me and mrs colchecks apartment, stubbed my toe when I drove the greyhound bus off the top floor of the apartment building ( 3 stories), sat on a tack. (ouch!)

but I got to strap a JATO pack on my back and flew around for about 30 seconds. that was pretty boss.

June 18 1985

not much happened today journal, just sat around the apartment. cleaned up a little.� found old doobie brothers album I thought i had lost.� it was under an old K-ration box.

june 19 1985

tot my self how to fire an M-60 with my bare feet today. That took up MOST of the day.

june 20 1985

hello journal

slept in all day and watched the beverly hillbillys marathon on cable, ate 2 hole bags of cheetos and now my teeth hert. I hate when that cheeto stuff sticks to your teeth. yuck

Eyebrows are starting to grow back now but they itch like crazy

june21 1985

I found a website of me today!

JUne 22 1985

the kernal thru me a suprise birthday party at the olive garden today. yay!!!

i got a new tank, some exploding LEGO's, more ammo, a sling shot with armor piercing grenades,� some new boot� laces, a first aid kit, an ice cream cake,� a slip and slide, a surface to air rocket, a new wallet, a puppy,� and a trip to Disney land Cambodia. I 'm so excited!� I cant wait!!!!

This diary is lame. - Wednesday, Feb. 25, 2009
woah - Thursday, Feb. 05, 2009
operation kindness - Thursday, Apr. 20, 2006
more belligerent bees on dogs - Monday, Feb. 20, 2006
teste-moanial - Thursday, Feb. 16, 2006




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