"Naw I dont wanna go out tonight, I've spent the whole day down at the junkyard behind the wheel of that crane haulin chunks of iron around and I don't wannna do nothin but sit on mah ass and watch amercahs funniest home vidyos" she mutterd.

"Well if that dont beat all to hell" he thought. What did she have to complain about? she sat her fat ass down in that crane all day and moved that crap around, it wasn't like she had to stand all day like he did. He never complained when he had a hard day at the Tater tot factory! Some days he would come home and think to himself that if he saw one more tater tot it would be a billion years too soon. In the beginning it was all he dreamed about, working for the local tater tot mines down in Kentucky, but he couldnt raise the money to go to night school for it so he had to settle for the factory instead. What the hell, he would still be around his favorite food! But that didnt last long, and into his 2nd year he had developed a great loathing of his once coveted side dish. At this point eating squirrel turds sounded better than tater tots!

His bosses would'nt even give his ideas about expanding the business into different flavors a chance. What was wrong with nacho cheese tater tots?

He never once complained to her about it.

"Well screw you! I'm goin out without ya!"

" Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out!" she barked.

Slamming the door to end the conversation was what he wanted to do but instead he slammed it on his ass, again. He had to listen to her obnoxious laugh all the way to his car. As he slid gingerly behind the wheel he could hear the opening theme to that damned video show.

"Up yours bitch" he murmered, "Im gonna pick me up another ho tonight and wont you be sorry."

The shuttle commander brought the spacecraft to a shuddering halt on the moon as the other astronauts knocked the rampaging moose out with a box of frozen tater-tots.

"Houston, this is Columbia. We have a problem and have touched down on the moon We'll give you a further update when we have assesed the situation to make sure everything is in order."

beep........"oooooooooookay Columbia.Houston out" beep.......

Unbuckling from his seat the commander contemplated what to do with a 900 pound astro-Moose with hayfever.

Cruising down the main drag Hubert spotted a likely hooker to ask into his car. He stopped in front of her and rolled down the window and asked how much. "Thirty bucks sweety." she said with a deep throaty voice. He reached across the passenger seat and pulled on the door release to let her in. When she got in her cheap perfume almost knocked him out of his car door. Tomorrow his car was going to smell like some kind of bizare tater tot flower bouquet but he really didnt care at this point. Five minutes and thirty-Two seconds later they were parked behind the Pick and Save. As he began feverishly rubbing his hand between the girls legs he started wondering to himself; Why was he doing this to Ethel Mae, what is he doing working at a job he hates, and why does

this woman have a penis. Recoiling in horror he put his back against the driver side door and with both feet kicked the transvestite out of the other side of the car.

"You owe me Five dollars for the feel you hayseed!" said the tranny.

Hubert tossed the purse at her/him and said

"fuck off! You're lucky I don't beat the shit out of you!"

Thats when the transvestite started doing some kind of hand jibe and spitting on the ground by his car. As Hubert sped off he wondered what all that hand and spitting was for.....