Mmmhmm. How can this kind of racket go on? I thought this kind of thing went out with selling the Brooklyn bridge.

Someone will always buy that load of bunk you have to sell.

" Hey hey hey there toots I got something to sell you that you HAVE to buy, you just gotta have this."

" What is it? Can I see it?"

" Well ...no. It's 60 trillion light years away."

Fa La La La LA, La La La Lame.

Naming something that you have never seen, or been to, or ever will go to after yourself, or another loved one, is the ultimate in human vanity, arrogance, and gullibility. And selling that item is the ultimate in crookdom. Why not just name a germ after someone? Just as many of those and you can't see them either.

I think a lot of people get suckered into it because the commercial says that the name will be registered with the U.S. patent office. Anyone can get a patent on ANYTHING. Patenting how to swing on a stupid swing? All you have to prove is that it's a unique item that no one has already patented. I dont even think they check to see if it works or not, thats for the BBB to decide I guess. I might be able to patent my electric dog polisher but that doesn't mean its a good idea for you to buy it.

There are some people that could argue the romantic point here and I would almost agree with you there. I can be just as mushy as anyone else when it comes to that. But I would rather actually give someone something that they can see everyday or they can remember having seen everyday than just say I named something you cant see after you.

" It used to be called HR-9029 but I got them to reaname it Myrna after you sweety pie!" Oh she'll love that, it'll top the ironing board you gave her last year.

I know I sound like a cynical bastard but I'm really not. Really!

I'm skeptical but not cynical if I might split a hair or two. For the person with everything, a whole damn ball of hot flaming nuclear fission.

You realize that giving a name to these things means that in the future, perhaps a thousand years from now, our childrens childrens great great great grandhildren might travel to a distant planet in a solar system named Gary Blevins. How amazing.

I'm all for romance. I once made a really neat scavenger hunt for a girl I was trying to woo. She never went woo though. I had this whole big deal planned out where she had to drive all over town with a clue from the last place to lead her to the next place where she had a clue to the next place. It wasn't terribly long or anything that would have taken more than and hour. I even had a couple of girls involved to help out who thought it was amazing and wished someone would do something like that for them. But no, my fair lady thought it was silly. She eventualy lost interest in me because I wasn't a cowboy.

BECAUSE I WASN'T A ROOTIN TOOTIN FRIKEN COWBOY!

I've never rooted, I wouldn't know the first thing on how to go about that. Sometimes I've tooted but thats about as close I as got to cowboyin. I'm sure they're both very happy in their log cabin on the range ropin' doggies. Feh.

But I changed the subject there didnt I? Buy a star for someone today. Name it after them so they can be imortalized forever. While your at it I've got some land on the moon I can let you have Cheep!

P.S. The patent for "How to swing on a swing", was made by a worker at the patent office showing his son how to apply for a patent. Now it makes sense right?