I just got a candy bar out of the vending machine. It looks like it came straight from pork chop hill! Whose bright idea was it to build vending machines the way they do? They're built with levels for things to sit in so when you put your money in the candy has to fall 3 feet; which is the equivalent of the top of a five story office building for a candy bar, where It lands on the hard metal floor of the machine. Now instead of a nestles crunch I have nestles schrapnel because its been pounded into smithereens. How in the world am I supposed to know if I really did get "10% more" candy bar as the label proclaims when all I have is a candy bar thats been reduced to atomic particles?

Why dont they just run the cokes through a centrifuge and shoot it out at the wall like a bazooka?

And turn the heat down on that coffee machine, no one needs their latte to burn a hole through the earths crust.