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Legally drunk. Well, if it's legal what's the problem?

You know where you can stick it. Why do we assume everyone knows where they can stick it.? Suppose you're a guy, and you have absolutely no idea where you can stick it. I think there ought to be a government booklet entitled Where to Stick It. Now that I think of it, I believe there is a government booklet like that. They send it to you on April 15.

It's the quiet ones you have to watch. Every time I see a television news story about a mass murderer, the guy's neighbor always say's "Well, he was very quiet." And someone I'm with says, "It's the quiet ones you gotta watch." This sounds like a very dangerous assumption. I'll bet anything that while you're watching a quiet one, a noisy one will kill you.

Suppose you're at a bar, and one guy is sitting over on the side, reading a book, not bothering anybody. And another guy is standing up at the front, bangin' a machete on the bar, screamin', "I'm gonna kill the next motherfucker who pisses me off!"

Who you gonna watch?

In your own words. You hear it in classrooms. And in courtrooms. They'll say, "Tell us .... in your own words ..." Do you have your own words? Personally, I'm using the ones everyone else is using. Next time they tell you to say something in your own words, say, "Nigflot blorny quando floon."

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Think about this;

It takes two scales to find out how much a scale weighs

Men, next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergymen's rate

When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foot's hands.