Sometimes I wish I could just shut up. I'll have these thoughts in my head, but then my brain thinks "don't say that. What you want to say should just not be said, you'll regret it if you say it." And I agree. " Yes brain, you are right I shouldn't say anything." But deep down inside, in the deepest parts of my body , possibly in my liver, I'm thinking "You're so going to say it anyway, you can't help it." And ten minutes later I'm spouting out some regretful thing. I don't know what it is. I'm just minding my own business and I look down and OH NO MY MOUTH IS OPEN. WORDS ARE COMING OUT. SHIT. STOP. QUIT! Some days I only open my mouth long enough to change feet. Foot in mouth, I have foot in mouth. Is that what hoof in mouth really is? Cows get hoof in mouth, is it because they've said some kind of bovine faux pas? "Mmmmhey Lenny . that calf of yours sure is good at Kickin' field goals. Hey you ever kicked a field goal? I never seen you do that before. You know whose good at kickin' field goals? That Jerry, he's really the only bull I've ever..... seen ..... kick a........crap.

You see, this all sounded good in my head, the whole cow kicking a field goal thing sounded funny, and I thought it would be funny. But it's not funny. crap.

Shut up Liver, crummy gland. Why don't you get back to work metabolizing those stupid carb's you let back up.

I have lost my mind.

In other news I ate a rice cake today. If I ate rugs ( ha HA ) and was also a goat, I'm sure this would have tasted like orgasm on a stick. The air in my mouth tasted better than the rice cake. And I don't eat ass, but I'm betting the sour cream and onion rice cake's taste like sour cream and ass. I must decline the next time it is offered. I must also decline to say they taste like ass cream and ass at that time. I must also be sure to punch myself in the liver when I do. Loudmouth organ.