Try this......... the next time your pet is lying on the bed or someplace being all passive, look at it for a few seconds in the eye. Then come at it's face with your mouth wide open very slowly.

If it shirks away like "HOLY CRAPPIN CRAP! This bitch has finally snapped and is trying to fucking eat me!"

Then all is well. Pet/human relationship is normal and fight or flight response is working with pet. Although pet may be visibly shaken and avoid you for several days. Possibly living in closet or trying to learn how to use the phone.

But.

If the pet opens its mouth and tries to tongue kiss you, then your relationship is very very UNHEALTHY. Eighty-six pet and get a throw rug or something.

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NO I DON'T HAVE ANY PERSONAL ANECDOTES ABOUT THIS! I was just thinking!!!

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Shut up I don't! I told you I didn't have anything to write about. I'm now digging into the weirdo files of humor to see what causes a disgusted comment from the peanut gallery.

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For cryin' out loud I said shut up!

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Look if you don't pipe down I'm turning this blog around and we're going home got it kids?! - - - Of course if you don't comment then I'll know you have an anecdote of you'r own......sicko. I have a site meter, I know who comes here. I KNOW ALL! I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ!