One day about three years ago, I was sitting at home watching cartoons when the doorbell rang. I walked to the door and opened it, but there wasn't anyone there. I looked to the left and to the right but not a single person was in sight.

Then I looked down and saw a little snail crawling across the doormat towards me.

I picked him up and looked at him real close. Then I drew back my arm and chunked that snail as hard as I could, went back inside and finished watching my show.

Just now I was cleaning out my closet when the doorbell rang. I went to the door and opened it...no one there. Then I looked down at the doormat and there was a little snail creeping towards me. I picked him to look at him and it said

" HEY ASSHOLE! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?"