Christ on a slip-n-slide, what the hell has the cat been eating now? Did she find a dead caribou under the bed?
ME: " The hell? What do you do all day, eat and crap? "
CAT: ( perturbed look on her face while she cleans her whiskers ) [ NO that is NOT what I do all day. I spend my day studying for the bar, learning swahili on PBS, and if you would put the damn pots a little closer to ground level I could finally finish my wok cooking lessons.] Meh.
If you were ever able to meet her, ( and if she could actually verbally communicate in a human language ) she would introduce herself thusly:
" Hello, My name is micki and I can crap a hole in the ozone layer. What can you do?"
We're working on the Christmas card up here at work, and they decided to use before and after baby pictures of all the employees. I decided to go ahead and take the cheap way out for an entry and post some pictures of me with my own disclaimer....
What the hell happened to me?
On the off chance that I do actually post current pictures, you can compare and KNOW that at one point I wasn't always this dorky looking. Hard liquor and smoking made me what I look like today, and looking back, I think that maybe I shouldn't have started when I was five. Maybe it's evident from these that the die was already cast as to how I would turn out.
I say again, what the hell happened to me? I think I can explain that question now.
If you're happy and you know it scream your fucking head off! Man I never noticed it before, but check out that badass couch with the peacocks on it. Check out that badASS orange shag. Yea, my aunt was blind.
I'm not really sure if my melon is actually as large as it appears in this picture. I was a pretty small kid and my mom had to buy the smallest pair of toughskins they had..... and then take THOSE in as well. Oh, and just because I'm from Texas and wearing a cowboy hat and gun here, doesn't mean I turned into a cowboy......
I was a clown....
Here I think I'm trying to figure out why this asshole is so freakin' happy.....
.... and snoop dog ......
..... and some kind of bizarre kid who stuck his ..... pistols in his drawers. Sometimes you find pockets where you can you know. This must have been right after a beer drinking contest. Note belly and low ride underwear. Yes, the chicks must have flocked. Funny how I don't remember that happening though.
On the Itunes: "The way we get by" ....... Spoon