It's about a foot and a half long.
It's important to disguise something shooting through the forest about 100 miles an hour. Because the deer might jump out of the way at the last second if she sees a big silver crossbow bolt streaking at her.
What's the deal with camouflage in the south?
Who thinks putting on your best clothes for a night out means something that goes with the fern in the corner?
I don't mean to sound like I'm some fashion conscious retard (because, have you seen what I wear?) but, WHAT THE FUCK MAN? Does EVERYTHING have to be cammo? Do deer think " Well I'm feeling a bit peckish . I think I'll go over by that giant round drum thingy that has food magically dropping out of it and grab my self a quick saaaaaaaaaaay. Are those Ray Bans I see floating in that tree? I sense foulplay. Something's rotten, and I bet it's in DENMARK! "
Sitting in a tree wearing camouflaged everything and making moose calls isn't called hunting. It's called waiting for something to mosey by so you can shoot it.
I think it'd be funny to invent a mating call that goes
" HEEEEEY! FREE SEEEEX! I AIN'T GOT NO CLOTHES OOOOOOOON! COME AND GIT IT BOYS!"
Then wait around the corner outside the Bass Pro shops with one of those comical mallets you see in Daffy duck cartoons.
Don't get me wrong, I like to eat meat and I'm not blind to how we get it. I just think if you're going to hunting. Go HUNTING.
Whittle yourself a long spear, you can use a broom handle if you want. Tie a chunk of sharp flint to the end of it and go hunt yourself a bear. When you find one, poke it in the ass! After you lose your spear, you'll have to wrestle it to the ground and kill it with your bare hands, but you can handle him big guy. Bring that back for me to see.
Then I'll be impressed.