I have recieved a mumabatillion emails that insist, no, demand I forward them to 40 gobagrillion friends in 6 seconds or I will never find love, or get laid, or win a million dollars and no one will like me anymore. Emails that say if you forward this story about a poor, legless,armless, headless boy from Cambodia whose been chained to a dead water buffalo for the last 709 years and has:
miners lung
mild/medium/ridiculous flatulance syphillus
typhus
typhoid mary
typhoid fred
constipation
emancipation
black mold
cholora
clorets
the bubonic plague
dyptheria
post nasel drip
prenasel drip
chapped ass
fear of clothing
frothing at the crotch
sprained mind
sloppy diction
botulism
small pox
medium pox
large pox
X-large pox
chicken pox
rack of lamb pox
salmonela
chickenela
tetanus
lockjaw
gout
rickets
scurvy
whooping sneeze
cancer of the fist
crossed nostrils
impetigo
geophagia
constant screaming
menopause
Dutch Elm disease
vapor lock
hoof in mouth
leg in mouth
mouth in mouth
shingles,(pine and cedar)
trench mouth
trench foot
trench spleen
has no hand-eye coordination
has no hands
has a foot for a head
is balance challenged
needs a kidney transplant
needs an elbow transplant
dry rot
crotch rot
a cracked foundation
explosive diahrea
explosive urination
tourettes syndrome
china syndrome
dancin feet
parvo
dystemper
ringworm
psoriasis
the agony of defeat
headache
headcheese
fumunduh
parkinsons disease
parker stevenson disease
needs a forehead transplant
hydrophobia
dehydration.....
...AND was shot when he flashed his high beams to some
gang kids driving with their lights off as they were throwing rags soaked in kerosene through open car windows of people stopped at red lights on their way to the GAP to cash in their free coupons they got for forwarding pointless emails about a little boy in Zimbabwe who fell down a toilet FILLED with snakes while trying to put out his gel candle that blew up in his face.. .............and he has one wish in this world. And that of course would be that he should like to have every one send him a greeting card or forward this email on to elevendybillion of my closest friends so that BIll Gates/Michael Jackson/Steve Urkel/or Hooty and the Blowjobs will give half a cent to my "chained to a dead water buffalo" foundation. And if you do that, a cute movie of the smurfs dancing around singing "I AM THE WALRUS" will pop up. but if you dont your a heartless bastard..... GOO GOO GA JOOB
I have seen them ALL or variations of them with different names and locations and illnesses. Just because you put "I dont usually forward these, but this happened to my best friends, dogs, sister so just in case, I'm going to send it to you anyway" will not make them this one time an exception or less annoying.
Please don't blindly forward on garbage to me.
If you fall for these letters, you must be someone whose new to email or a moron.
If you get one and you just HAVE to send it to someone. If you just absloutely cant help being a brainless twit, go to google first and type in a search for chain letters and see if that one shows up.
If you think I'm a heartless bastard for saying this.
eat a bug.
(I got an email once that said they taste like Lobster Thermadore. I swear.)
Have a nice day :)