I am drawn to people who know the difference between to and too, their and there and they're. things like that.....again with no capitalizing! plllll..Anyhow I check the stats boc on this diary every day to see if I have an audience yet. As I said before, I confuse myself about the real reason for this diary. Is it for my own benefit or am I looking for a place to be seen?
I'm an introverted kind of guy. I do stupid things to myself all the time. Like for instance, yesterday at work my boss invited me to a concert he and some of the guys are going to in January. It's REO speedwagon...Hmmm never ever been an REO speedwagon fan, have no idea what the hell and REO speedwagon is. Oh I know the songs but it's not my kind of music. I should go. It might be fun. I might get some humorous tale out of it. See, adventures like this come my way occasionally and I should take them as something to do. But instead I flake and dont go, or decline and dont go...or some such thing. Then 3 years later I wonder where all my freinds have gone. Why am at home on a saturday night with nothing to do? I think I'm turning into a hermit. I want to be out but I dont seem to want to bother with the fact that people will see me. the progression of this spiral has become depressing (I'm giving up on the t's..also I'm trying to type with one hand holding a cigarette and that doesn't help at all)
What is it with people who like to write funny shit but have such miserable lives despite that?
I spend a considerable amount of time have funny thoughts swirling through my mind , mentally catalogueing them and writing them down later only to have someone tell me later it was funny but I have too much free time. Well fuck you very much. I'm doing this for you asshole. No. I'm doing it for me. Getting a laugh proves my existance and importance in other peoples lives.
But that doesn't mean shit if no one calls you to do anything on the weekends anymore.
I am now listening to the same skinny puppy song I used to listen to when I first went to college. Does that mean that I have officially stopped to grow as an 20 something and plunged into midlife mediocrity? The fact that I cant stand top 40 radio or Outkast or blink 90210 and all the other banal pointless bands on the radio now. Whitestripes are good though. Oh there is some good stuff but it's pretty sparce in my opinion. Cripes it is true...I have become old. All my friends are old and married and have kids and lives of their own. My best friend, from seven years old, has moved 50 miles away and I hardly even talk to him on the phone at all. It is good to hear from him and how his little boy is growing up though. How did my life derail like this? I didnt know the train even fuckin left!