halloween
Ok now it's not even midnight and I'm home. Home from the office party in downtown Fort Worth. I hate driving in downtown, they change the streets just to confuse ME. Turn this way , not that way, this is only one way, this is two way, and this, you can't even go this just because. But , I overcame the aggravation of downtown traffic to confront my annoyance with the soused slobs from my office who want to put a drink in front of me every fifteen minutes. I don't drink too much anymore and there's a good reason for it. October 32, 1992. I know, we'll get back to that date in a little bit.

Lets start this story on October 31. 1991. I get the invite to a college friends halloween party and most of the class attends. This guy and his wife are the reigning king and queen of halloween party throwers. I should have mentioned that of all the holidays in the year Halloween is the best of them all hands down. I eat every bit of that Halloween shit up.....ahem, not literally eating shit here, but I think you know what I mean..... thought I should clear that up. I come dressed as Napoleon ( BUT I AM NAPOLEON!!!!) Hat , tights, boots, sword, the works. And had a blast!

I had so much fun I came to his party again the next year. This time none of the people I knew showed up. I spent most to the evening get el drunk o grande off of the keg of Michelobe in the backyard. My excessive drinking surpassed the end of the party and I found myself unable to drive home as it was winding down. I decided to try to draw this out as long as possible In order to sober up by helping to clean up, but even that wasn't long enough. I was feeling a little more confidant by then and decided to leave.

Having rained almost the whole night the streets were wet but not slick, I got in my car and started on my way home. Right about here you're asking why I didn't ask to stay the night or call a cab. Well I really did feel like I was ok to drive, and being an idiot was somewhere in there too. I was pulled over a block from the party for not having my lights on. I turned on my lights. I specifically remember turning on my lights ..... just happened to not turn them on one click more to turn on the actual headlights, just the amber ones. I didn't notice this because of the streets being wet and reflecting the streetlights back at me. I just couldn't tell they weren't on.

I got asked out of the car and was given the drunk guy test, handcuffed and put in the back of the patrol car. Man unless you're some kind of career criminal, sitting handcuffed in the back of a police car is the most belittling thing in the world. I was a bad guy. I had done the wrong thing. Being in the back of that car with my hands cuffed behind me would be the thing that would bother me the most after I came to my senses later.

I spent the night in jail until my parents could come and bail me out the next day. My dad was mad of course because we had this talk a thousand times. Mom made a joke about it saying she was hoping I wasn't in there in a bunny suit or something. Thanks a lot for the standup mom. It was a humiliation to me that I never want to repeat. I got off lightly if you call a large fine and having to report to a probation officer for a year afterwards lightly. It could have been worse with more jail time. But I was lucky since my situation allowed me the best of two breathalyzer tests. The first was right on the line and second just below the legal limit. I got off with a warning I will never take for granted. My drinking took a nosedive which with my addictive personality was a good thing.

Since then every time I've been invited to booze it up with everyone else and go bar hopping, if I don't have a ride or if I have to go alone; which is always since I will apparently be forever single, I either decline or end up being the DD for the night. Not as much fun but cheaper.

And thats about it. Thats why I don't drink anymore. A menace to society no longer.

Oh yea about the date, while I was in the pokey taking my tests, I was asked questions about the night. The lady cop asked me what the date was. Trying to ACT like I was completely non drunk and knowing that Halloween, October 31st was last night I told her with I'm sure utter confidence on my face.... "OCTOBER 32nd!"

She wrote it down on the report just like that. October 32nd.

Drunk people can be so stupid.

This diary is lame. - Wednesday, Feb. 25, 2009
woah - Thursday, Feb. 05, 2009
operation kindness - Thursday, Apr. 20, 2006
more belligerent bees on dogs - Monday, Feb. 20, 2006
teste-moanial - Thursday, Feb. 16, 2006




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