I just got off the phone with Karen, one of my best friends. She and her roommate Melissa are coming out to meet up with us until Sunday. We used to talk on the phone about all kinds of stuff, and now, after almost 6 years, I'm finally going to see her again.

But.

Lets back up here a bit so I can tell you about after the plane landed.

Cluster fuck. The moment we hit the gate out of the plane. We found the shuttle that was supposed to take us to our hotel, but we also find out that Paula had no voucher for the transfer to take her to the motel. Back in DFW, the stupid woman who worked for 'FUN'jet didn't give her back any of the items she needed, like the shuttle voucher....or her return ticket to fly back to Dallas. Shit! Well Kim pays for her ride in cash, then we get to the motel. They have no info that Paula is even staying with us so there's no double room for the both of them. So Kim has to pay, again, for Paula's bed. Kim will get reimbursed by our company of course, but the hassle is causing a small nuclear explosion in her head that sends her ears bouncing around the casino.

She is pretty goddamn mad that the assholes at work haven't seemed to make any effort to make this go smoothly.

First, on Wednesday we still had not seen any plane tickets. When Kim asks where they are there's a search to ask the people. It comes down to the CEO and he says that he already gave Kim our tickets. Which he lies about since we haven't seen him in two weeks. Then his mom, who owns the company, told AAA that they shouldn't mail the tickets and that she would pick them up.

She didn't do anything. We had to pick them up on our way to the airport. Oh this is looking funner by the second.

Back to after the phone call.

Vegas, is very seedy. I haven't been booked into a hotel, I'm in some flea-bag motel named and get this aptly named shit-hole. The WESTWARD HO. The Westward Ho. Well Goddamn, it looks like a HO-tel. What the fuck is this shit? The girls don't look too comfortable staying here, and I'm only slightly less pleased. It doesn't look as bad, but it reminds me of the motel in the Karate Kid.

I am not impressed with this place so far. At all.

All the shit is on the other end of the strip, and all the 'SHIT' is on this end. Hopefully when Karen gets here things will be looking much brighter. She sounded real excited that I was here and that she was going to see me again. I have to admit.....I am too.

The only bright spot so far has been the airport shuttle guy who drove us here. He's from New York and quite a character, but aren't all New Yorkers. He was cool.

Dinner time.

I had steak and lobster, the lobster for the first time. It wasn't the mind numbing orgasmic experience that people seem to think it is. Maybe I just had a bad one.

Eleven PM

After gambling a little at roulette...and losing, we head back to the motel to go to bed. I give Karen one more call to see if she's coming tonight or tomorrow. I'm using Paula's cell phone but her nationwide coverage doesn't appear to cover inside motel rooms. So i have to go out in the parking lot to try to get a clear signal. It turns out that her roommate bailed and Karen is coming alone. Well thats better news. So I walk out like I said into the parking lot and I'm talking.

ME: "So what time are you going to be leaving?"

Her: "Well.... I think I'm going to start about 2:30 or....

[clunk]

...so. I Don't really want to drive through the desert through the night in case I have car trouble."

ME: "Yea, I don't think you should either."

Her: " So wh----t -----ike--o fa---?-----aving ----d -----ime? Where--------oo stay-----?"

ME: "Your breaking up. I can't hear you anymore." Hang on let me move around a bit."

HER:----------------------*click*

ME: "Oh ............. nooooo. "[suddenly realizing that the clunk I heard was me shutting my motel room door. I detect the faint snickering of my motel key ... through the door on the wrong side.]

"FOOGIN 'EL MAN!"

Yes the "You poor damn bastard" extends all the way to beautiful crapfest Las Vegas. I locked myself out.

Well fuck me with a sack of cement, aint this some shit?

And now, a commercial break

The cat just came out of her cat box and mowed at me. I look down and she looks like:

Cat: " Well, I just took a crap. Thats out of the way."

Me: "Good for you. Was it everything you hoped for?"

She didn't answer, I guess not.

Tune in tomorrow for the next installment of.....

FUCK YOU LAS VEGAS! tomorrows episode....

call-girls, call-girls, call-girls, call-girls, call-girls, call-girls, call-girls, call-girls, call-girls, call-girls, call-girls, call-girls, mushroom mushroom.

Tune in tomorrow....same YPDB time, same YPDB channel!