S: G'morning misser greg. Sit down eatey tawko.

M: Thanks Salvador, I need to take it to my room and go to work though.

S: Nooooo no no sit down eatey hot.

M: okay.

S: Greg, You see me novia this morning?

M: No which one?

S: Elena, she givey quickey lass nigh..... ( makes this whistling noise, not the one you make with your lips, but the one with your tongue )

M: Ohhhh really, fascinating.

S: Yes, (puts his thumb and finger in a ring in the galaxy wide symbol for "getting a quickey") Sometimes dickey maaaaad. no go. I say ga'damn you go in... ga'damn misser greg.

M: OK Salvadore, whatever you say.

I think he has a serious Walter Mitty complex.

It was pretty busy at work yesterday and for the most part since Wednesday. I guess all is good and there are no worries. I have been vigilant with the overtime since I think that may have been a concern. Shit, I was working those hours for those assholes.

Anyway, I had to make a trip to the tent company that sew banners for us. It's down a street thats very rundown and full of old HUGE houses that were once mansions for someone and are now crack house apartments for someone else. I really like driving down that street because I like to imagine getting the floorplans and having one of them built one day. The new houses have nothing on the look of those old art deco designs.

When I got to the sewers ..... uh sowers?Thats not right is it? I wasn't down in the sewer. Seamstress??? The hell...... the guys who take heavy duty thread and stitch our vinyl banners.

Anyway I got there and I got the longest pitch from some guy on the street that I have ever gotten. It seems... well it went something like this...

Guy: Excuse me. Can you tell me where the wallcooonecndr is?

Me: The .......uh......what?

Guy: The Travel center. I was down at the hospital until the police kicked me out and sent me to the homeless shelter and I wasn't going to go there because you can follow the beer bottles there and I didn't want to be anywhere near there.....

Me: .......What .....?

Guy: Well see, I'm here in town to help get a friend out of jail for a DWI, but they aren't going to let him out or post bail till Monday. I'm not going to hang around till then, I'm from San Fransisco and people walk around with blinders on from the time they get up and don't pay no mind to anyone so I understand what this may look like so I'm just trying to get a ride to Houston on the bus and I heard theres a 12 dollar fee to get there but they wont give me a ride without a address so i have an apartment in California I was just wondering.........

(Okay, here comes his point)

......wether I could have an address to send a thank you to?

ME: I'm sorry, what do you need?

Guy: (sighs cause apparently I'm a total idiot for not understanding all this) Then repeats the whole goddamn thing exactly.....Well see, I'm here in town to help get a freind out of jail for a DWI, but they aren't going to let him out or post bail till Monday.............

Me: I'm sorry, what do you need? Do you need money? Are you asking me for a ride to Houston? A walkie talkie that can reach the mother ship? What are you telling me? I don't really...... I dont speak swah ...... What?

Guy: No I'm going to ride the bus. I just need.....to know.....where theres a place.......Is there a pl.......is that a church over there?

Me: Next door? yes

Then he went into the whoooooole damn thing again. I never ever figured out what the hell he wanted. He had such a great....convoluted , confusing story, I was going to give him five bucks like he had just played classical gas on the banjo while tap dancing like mister bojangles on speed. When I came back out he was gone. Great show. I would have yelled encore but as I said he was gone.

I don't really give money to homeless people, I've seen too many walk up on their own two good legs to the median before the stop light. Then go into insant parkinson mode. And please don't tell me that I don't know anything about Parkinson's diesease. My grampa was diagnosed the year I was born and died when I was twenty two. I know what it looks like. Cardboard signs do not cause uncontrollable shaking.

This guy... he had an extravaganza. Oh well, I hope things worked out for him. I really do.

You are my favorite movie star.

You are my big buddy.

You are a low down rotten man.

You are crazy like a road lizard. (?)

Arnold Schwarzenegger!

Arnold Schwarzenegger!

Arnold Schwarzenegger!

Arnold Schwarzenegger!

You are the greatest.

You are my kind of guy.

You are my buddy.

You are my main man.

Arnold Schwarzenegger!

Arnold Schwarzenegger!

Arnold Schwarzenegger!

Arnold Schwarzenegger!

I love your movies.

I love your tooth. (?)

You are the best man I ever liked.

you are my rich man.

You are my big millionaire.

Arnold Schwarzenegger!

Arnold Schwarzenegger!

Arnold Schwarzenegger!

Arnold Schwarzenegger!

Rock over London, rock on Chicago.

Wheeties, breakfast of champions.

"Arnold Schwarzenegger" ....WESLEY WILLIS