"Have you ever been not talking to someone, only it's not that you're NOT talking to them, it's just that you haven't talked to them for a while. And when you realize how long it's been, you feel bad because you don't want them to think that you're NOT talking to them. And as you're about to send them a message to say hi, and to apologize for not talking to them much lately, you start to think about how THEY haven't bothered messaging or calling YOU in all this time, and maybe THEY'RE the ones who are not talking to YOU. And you think back to the last conversation you had, and you try to imagine what might possibly have caused them to stop talking to you, whether it's a matter of something you said to piss them off, or something someone else might have said ABOUT you, or if possibly they just decided they don't like you anymore. And you start to get really pissed off, and you think about sending a really nasty email to them about it, but then you think that maybe they've just been busy, too, and maybe they aren't not talking to you, or ignoring the messages you've left for them in the past, but that they've got shit going on in their lives, and everything isn't always about you, and maybe you should just get over it and call them up to say hi. But you don't want to do that, because if they ARE not talking to you, then you don't want to give them the opportunity to either ignore or snub you, so you're left in a quandary as to what you should do, because you miss talking to them, but maybe you'd rather not know if they HAVE decided to stop talking to you for whatever reason.

Or am I the only one who obsesses over stupid shit like that? I should really work on all the neurotic nonsense that keeps me up at night."

To everyone who reads this.... Don't ignore someone who wants to talk to you. Someone who likes talking to you. Friends who want to do things with you. People that just want to say hi, and see how you've been. Don't wish too much for your own solitude. Don't wish to be alone or for people to go away.

Some day, after you've had enough of being alone, You're going to look around for all your friends.

And you won't find them.

They will have gotten your hint.

I wished for all those things. Now I selfishly want my friends back.

I'm sorry.