Thought is a weird word isn't it? Thought, Thot.
.............
Anyway.
What was I saying? Oh yes, sometimes my brain makes a detour into wackyness. Well I mean more than most people.
Okay my brain is totally kookafied.
Like the thought I had in California while I was watching Karen on stage.
Everyone is applauding to each person walking across the stage, and I started thinking about how and why we applaud to show our approval/satisfaction/concurrence/favor for something up there. Who decided that whapping your hands together quickly was a good idea? And why in that way? Why wasn't sticking your palm in your armpit and making that fart noise considered? Think about the Queen of England pumping her elbow up and down to Elton Johns fifty fifth version of candle in the wind. For some reason I picture the muppet show in this scenario.
Right.
Kookafied.
Totally.
Yes, it's a semi ordered kind of world and I'm the one to show you the opposite way to random-a-tude by saying "Hey look, lets make fart noises when we like something!"
So this entry is about my randomness.
Like this.
Random #1
Today I wanted some chips from the vendo-matic machine and as I was contemplating the warning label on the top of the machine that says "Warning! Do not tilt or rock machine. It could cause bodily injury. Machine will not give free product." I wanted to add the word "STILL" so it would say "Machine will 'STILL' not give free product" Just in case you thought you might get a free snack while you were waiting for the crane to come lift the coke machine off of you. I was reading this as I put in my change and pushed b-4 for my Fritos.
Machine: "Please make another choice"
Well I can SEE the chips there so I know it has them. So I push HARDER.
BEEEEEEEEEEEE-444444444444
"Please make another selection"
God damnit!
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-FF ..... Oh, I see. The tray with those chips has slid out of place and it thinks it doesn't have those things in stock.
Okay, I'll make ANOTHER selection.
I pick something on the tray above. Yay, it compliments me on my choice and the little corkscrew starts unwinding my chipilated potatoes and drops them....
.....right onto the tray below that was slid out too far.
Fuck-wank-bugger-shitting-ass-headed-hole.
Random #2
I'm a quiet person. If any of you were to meet me in real life you would guess that I'm the dullest person to ever walk upright. The thing is I DO talk, I just pick my moment to throw out sentences. I'm not a conversation starter so if you like to talk ....a lot.... then I'm the person to listen. I throw out quick things to make people snort things out of their nose. Also I'm the king of non-sequitur. Meaning I might spout any bullshit at any time that pertains to absolutely nothing.
[Me and Kim working quietly]
ME: "I had spaghetti for dinner last night."
KIM: "..............."
KIM: " ...... Good."
I suppose thats actually a conversation starter since there was no preceding conversation actually occurring at the moment for me to .... sequitur from. Sometimes I just blurt out things. I think I might have an advanced form of tourettes that takes the form of whole sentences instead of curses. I don't think anyone would think any different if I did just spew out a mudslide of " shit! " And THAT is a disgusting mental image I just gave you huh? Actually if I DID spew a mudslide of shit, people would definitely notice. I'm sure news crews would be involved. I need to choose my sentences more carefully.
Random #3
All you people up north wishing the winter would end and summer would get here can DROP DEAD. It's hotter than ...well it's really fucking hot here in Texas. AND IT'S ONLY MAY! Which means...what does that mean? It means that August is gonna be so hot it's going to suck AND blow.
That didn't make any sense.
This summer is going to melt me. And my point is that I'm going to whine and bitch and point fingers at ALL YOU ASSHOLES UP NORTH WHO WANTED THE SNOW TO GO AWAY. Waah-waah waah-waah.
I sound like a British ambulance.
Ok sorry, I don't think you're assholes. But it is quite warm here.
So screw you.
Random #4
If I have to find something in the dictionary, like say Senegal River for instance, I have to say in my head ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRS.....so I know what letter the S's are after. Also if someone asks me what the last four digits of my home phone number, I always pause before answering...because I have to say the whole number in my head first. Hey, I didn't learn it in quadrants.
Same thing with the last four digits of the SSN.
So random describes me well. I'm fine with that.
I like cartoons.
P.S. I just realized this is my 205th entry. I missed 200.
on the i tunes: "I don't know why" ....NORAH JONES