I like carbohydrates. Carbs are good. carbs carbs carbs, I could eat em all day. In fact, I DO eat em all day. I didn't know carbohydrates were in so many things, soooooo many things I like to EAT, There's carbs in anything with any sugary substance or derivative of sugar ever invented, Basically anything worth eating has too many carbs in it. I thought I just liked meat a lot, turns out, I'm a carboholic. I think i could cut way back on the meat consumption, it's those dirty carbohydrates that i gotta have.
"Hey mister..." *holding out a cup* "Spare some carbs? Just a couple of funyuns?"
There's carbohydrates in everything from baked potatoes to Coka-cola, bread, pasta, corn, chandeliers, baseboards, and Shinola shoe polish. It's in EVERYTHING! Carbohydrates turn into sugar and sugar turns into energy and energy turns my friends son into a psycho child who bounces around the house like a gibbon. There's carbs in milk too so I shouldn't drink milk .... which I cant drink anymore anyway because I think I've become lactose intolerant to milk products. Intolerant. sounds kind of stern doesn't it?
Stomach: " Awright milko, we took a vote and, well we're just not gonna tolerate you any more. We've pretty much had it up to , uh here, with your belly aches and stuff. SOOOOOO your out, ok? Sorry but, you know .... and ice cream, you and cheese? .... You're out too. "
Milk: " EAT ME."
Cheese: "pffff, I could care less....whats that smell? Oh, it's me...again."
I've lost a bunch of weight the last few months and I think I know why now. I've had to give up on the cheese and milk stuff.
This sucketh because I love milk. Chocolate milk , milk shake, ice cream, cheese whatever I like milk products. I'm not a fanatic .... I'm not gonna go suck it right from the source or anything. But I dig milk. So giving it up, in a way ... sucks.
Damn you to hell carbohydrates! Why do you have to taste so fucking good?!
Why couldn't someone say " rutabagas and Brussels sprouts make you gain weight and should be stricken from your diet at all costs."
Well I'd be on board for that in a heartbeat. And turnips, feh, I drop those foul tasting turnips like a bowl full of ass flavored fruit loops .
So Yea, there you go man.
Oh and by the way..... this Looks good. "We can dance, We can dance. Everybody crap in your pants."
On the Itunes: "Love love love love all your money!"...DAISY CHAINSAW