Ahem... . It seems to me that fast food places must be in a very precarious balance of success or failure right now. Why? Well I've come to believe that the keystone that keeps all of them from going to hell on a moped is if they can hold on to two crappy packets of ketchup long enough for me to leave with my food without asking for them. Is that really all that makes the difference? Is Ketchup really that valuable? Pfff.

One year ago today, I decided to start a weblog/diary/blog/journal. Now 365 days and 300 entries later, you're still reading. For reasons only god, dogs, gerbils named sid, or whatever you happen to believe in, you've put up with the stupidity and you're STILL reading. I don't know, I don't get it either. Lots of people believe that my elevator doesn't go all the way to the top, thats okay, I'm inclined to agree with them. So from Bethany
who was the very first to log onto me, to Idleboy
the last, and all those in between; For all those who came to see how far my insanity had progressed, left comments ........ and insults. Thanks.
And all of you who dropped me in between, go have sex with yourselves.

I decided to put up the very first entry as a way of coming all the way around with this crap. Strangely it's also about fast food. I think I need to cook at home more often.

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December 8th 2003

De drif thoo

Ok what to type for the new page .... Since this is the first one..... basically a blank piece of paper, a blank canvas to paint on, .... Weeeeeeeeeeeel this is getting off to a good start eh? Its 10:39 I'm at work now, should be working but instead I'm using company electricity to write in this blog, about what, I have no idea.

Maybe it would be easier to start with something I wrote down yesterday about a great trip I had to get dinner

I'm behind a car in a drive through of a restaurant that rhymes with Shendy's, and that car is at the window board giving their order. I notice after a bit that this is going to be one of THOSE drive through experiences, the ones that take a loooooooong time.... Someone's got a family reunion to cater and they're doing it at the Krendys' drive thru. But like an idiot I sit there so I can gripe about it later. What's going on? I turn down the radio to listen and hear the conversation, CONVERSATION? They weren't even ordering. At first I thought it was Two different people on opposite sides of the speaker from two different countries trying to speak a third language, English, and neither one having a grip on it. Now I'm starting to think this is funny and my brain goes into record mode. It dawns on me that they ARE both speaking the same language. Spanish of course, and then comes the Spanglish.

....Eh , numero uno con queso, y ...uh .......Frosty? Eh....numero dos y ........uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......... Beegee size .......HI C froot drink.... feeko y hogy bloon sargy, chigen uh pollo streeps, dol diga buzz buzz ziggity zag boon gedo .... beep boop..... fardin argosa siby wady o!!!!

chigy wanga no chabba na wanga solo .......... a bunch of other stuff I don't catch or understand.

They talk a little bit about the motherland and how great HI-C is because that word comes up a lot and the Durango pulls forward. Now my turn.

HER: "Weecome to Wendis I tayoo oder?"

ME: "Uh yea lemme have an order of chili and an order of fries ..... aaaaand that'll be all."

Her: ( Programed to push anything else ) "You like Frosty desser wi dat? "

Me : ".............. No and that'll be all."

Her: "Anyting to drink? ...... HI C?"

Me: "............... No and that'll be all."

Her: "Dabiya?"

Me: "........huh?"

Her: "DABIYA?!! (louder this time since I obviously don't speak English)"

Me: .....................................................( Dibida?)

Her:"...................................................."

Her : ".....................Poo to winnow pees."

I'm assuming that now my turn is over and she is suggesting I should pull to the window. I get around the corner and the couple in the Durango are happily handing over their money to the girl in the window and they pull away. I pull up.

She: "Doofortin."

Me: (I hand her 3 dollars)

Her: "yoo chenj, eddy sis cent dank yoo come to us agin."

Ok!

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Rock over London. Rock on Chicago. Pontiac, we are driving excitement!