This one goes out to Wiberteets who said " If you don't have anything to write about why don't you just write about your day." Well I didn't think you all would find that kind of thing interesting but here's todays looong story called....
BEST DAY EVER.
Working in my job is fun because there's always something to do. If I'm not planning out a project I'm ordering materials and taking inventory. Most of it's up to me, but if I didn't have the help of Kim, Paula, Elena, or whoever else I can sucker in as they walk by, I'd never get it all done.
But today, boy was today a fun filled day full of orgasms and lollypops ........ If you like shit flavored lollypops and think orgasms feel like getting wacked in the crotch with a wiffle ball bat.
As a preface, what I do requires some set up time in advance to make sure I have what I need to get the job constructed and out the door. We make signs, banners, posters and design graphics for trade shows. I'm the one in charge of assembling, printing, color correcting, overflow graphic design, and image manipulation in Photoshop, Illustrator and InDesign. Some of these projects get pretty big, we may have a banner 27 foot long one day, and a back lit display on Lexan plastic 6 foot long the next, or 300 28x36 posters due out the door the day after that. It gets kind of hectic trying to juggle all this stuff by yourself as well as trying to haggle with vendors about material costs. Or, shopping for a better price from someone else when you can't get the price you want.
So yesterday, I'm calling in supplies from three different people for a job I have today. I call the lamination people and order four rolls. They only have one in stock. They're supposed to have them on hand so I don't have to wait my entire mid life crisis for them to ship them in from Pluto or wherever the hell they decide is as far from me as they can store them.
Okay. Fine. I don't need it right this minute, so just send what you have and send the rest when it gets in off the rocket ship or whatever.
I call the cardboard supply guys. I need some LAAAAARGE pieces of cardboard to ship what I have. I need 48x96 inch boards. I dial the number and get the answering machine of Charlie the hillbilly on cow tranquilizers, who takes the same amount of time it took to invent rocks to say that they aren't in. Okay Charlie, call me back. When he does, I tell him what I need and he assures me he'll have large boards for me FIRST thing in the morning.
Never believe anyone who says they will get you something FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
Next I call the plastic suppliers, they have the ginormous sheet of plastic I need.
All goes relatively well. I have everything I need to get my job done on its way to me on Wednesday. I have to finish the job by 3:00 so the courier has time to get it to where it needs to be by 5:00.
Wednesday
At 12:00 I'm still waiting for my plastic and cardboard.
12:45 my lamination shows up, three rolls. Hmm somethings amiss. Two rolls in a box, one roll wrapped in plastic. It's supposed to come shipped in a box to protect against gouging. If you gouge a roll of lamination it goes through 90 layers, and if Jesus is in heaven it will be right smack dab in the middle of the roll making it useless to me. Pulling off the plastic, I inspect and sure enough the roll has a gouge the size of Michael Jacksons porn collection in the middle. Another box is in the manufacturers original packaging so I'm pretty sure it's okay. But the third box is repackaged by my vendor. Hmmm. I open it, and inside I find....
the roll of lamination I sent back to them two weeks ago because it was gouged when they sent it WITHOUT A BOX. It even has the note I put in there saying the roll was screwed up!
I call these guys back to ask how many retarded Gibbons they have to employ in the shipping department to get a tax cut from the government, and while I'm doing that, my plastic shows up. The courier for these guys didn't appear to speak English very well, and insisted of trying to give me someone else's order. Once I cleared that up and sent him on his bewildered way, I drag my crap back to my room and finish up my job.
It's now 2:30.
No cardboard.
I have to piece together packing material from scrap to make a 96 inch long by 14 inch tall cardboard shipping box, run it to the front just in time to catch the courier to take the package to Dallas.
3:01
Okay, I'm done.
3:01:53
My cardboard shows up.
I wanted 48" x 96" .
I got 2389238477495873" x 7834984573948573948573987".
So I wacked him in the nuts with a wiffle ball bat.
Sorry Clem, I'll get you a bag of ice FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

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And, apparently old man winter was tooling around in his Ford Fairlane and totally missed the off ramp for Texas, did a U-turn in Nevada and came back. It was 85 degrees Saturday and 43 today.