It's snot week ALL week on the rant!

("I'm sure you wouldn't lose any readers if you decided to write about snot for a week")

It's funny you say that because I just happen to have something like that, that I didnt't post out of discretion. Soooooo. This kind of ooked me out when I wrote this last year, and it may ook you out too. But hey, it's not like you can just click a button and change the blog to another one! You have to read. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAhrrmmmmmmmmmm.

GLUE

Someone call 3M, I just had an epiphany......or some other tasty pastry.....or maybe it's a conniption. Cannoli?

You know , scientists in labs have been working overtime trying to make the perfect"glue". Something that will stick to whatever you want it to stick it to no matter if its under water, in the wind, in outer space, or in the middle of a viagra enduced warthog stampede. Apparently there's a lot a macaroni art being created in the middle of Cambodia during these stampedes. But I think they've wasted a lot of time on this kind of thing, far longer than I believe they should have. If they had thought of the idea that I thought of today we may have macaroni that would stick to a charging Rhino in a hailstorm long before now. If that's been a concern for any of you lately.

There's one thing on this planet that sticks better than any post it note, rubber cement or 'sooper' glue I've EVER seen. The answer so obviously is a booger. Have you ever tried to get one of those things off your finger? Ooohhh dont scrinch up your face when I say that because I know ...... I know you all pick your nose when no one is looking. When I got home from work today I ran right to the calendar to see if it was national pick your nose day, I saw five people celebrating on the way home. Maybe they thought they had mirrored windows and I couldnt see em...but I saw.

Anyway, back to the glue thing I know that a booger would hold up to the wind test, at least up to a 70 mile and hour wind, because thats how fast my car was going and it JUST WOULDNT COME OFF! Now that's something! Seventy miles an hour is pretty close to gail force winds. Thats the kind of thing that blows trash cans and lawn furniture around town like bingo balls in a hopper and makes peope in mobile home parks run for the nearest Redcross building. Okay I know this is a little gross and maybe I've gone too far this time but come on, you gotta admit it at least to your self that it makes some sense to think about it. THERES AN UNLIMITED SUPPLY FOR CRYIN OUT LOUD.

Of course they wouldnt say right off the bat that it was made out of boogers but they didnt come right out and say that jello was made out of horse bones either did they? Boogers dont sound so bad now do they? At least your not eating glue......Well most of you arent.

Now the under water problem will still have to be worked out because I've watched a lot of the Discovery channel and I haven't seen any Dolphins trying to shake anything off their fingers.... or fins. That would be like trying to scratch your nose with your elbow, but maybe they can start there for the solution to remove it. Ok. Im done now.........Stop trying to scratch your nose with your elbow. (Thank Living-lulu for the idea ya'll)