I'm also very sure you've read a mumabatillion snippets of hilarity and annoyance from everyone you know about how they fucking hate pumping one gallon of gas into the ford Brobdingnagian ( thats a real word ) for seventeen dollars and twelve cents. And unless you've been riding to work in a perpetual motion hover-pod, you're well aware of the situation.. so I won't say anything about how I'm devising clever way to introduce sandpaper skinned piranha into the sphincters of anyone sitting behind a desk saying "... heh.. alright... lets just type in some numbers.... 3546846416.0.... fooor a gallon of gaaaaaas. Yup that sounds about right.. *snort* heh heOH.. my ass itches. I better scratch it with this faberge egg."
No... noooooo I won't even go into that. Not me. Not this time.
I'll just tell you about a story of going to buy gas.
I have to tell you that this actually happened about a month ago when the gas was first starting to rise.
I was on my way to a friends house and was calling him on the phone to let him know that I was on my way but I had to stop for gas first.
Me: dial dial dial
Ppaul ( I used a pseudonym for his real name ): Hello?
Me: ( I'll just use "me" for me ) Hey I'm finally on my way, I was just calling to tell you that I'm HOLY SHIT!...
Pauul: WHAT? You're holy shit? WHAT'S WRONG?
Me: I was just about to pull into the gas station to get some... crap! Gas has gone up 10 cents in 3 days! It was just 2.09! ( pardon me as I remember my innocence before Exxon pushed the price to 2.59 [I know, I'm sorry people in California and Hawaii.])
** think think think fuck think think think **
Ppaauullll: Yea I know. Its 2.27 here..
Me: Shiiiiit. I'm gonna see if I can find something cheaper, then I'll be over.
Ted: ...... okyea, goodluck on that.
So I drive over to his side of town and see 2.27, 2.28, damnit 2.26 ok here we go 2.22 2.19... ok ok 2.27, 2.29 crap!
I figure the best I'm going to do is 2.19, so I drive past his street and keep going. Hoping I'm going to see 2.19 again before I get to Kentucky.
And lo, in the distance I see a sign. 2.19 regular. Fine, this will have to do. So I pull into something with a name like "Hugo's gas and sip" or whatever it was called and get out my card to pay. The sign has buttons that say "pay inside" "pay at the pump"
I mutter "Should be "get pumped at the pump.." and slide in the card .. and nothing.
About a minute later the clerk comes out to say that I need to pay inside to get gas.
Hugo: Is pretty hoht todee izn it?
Me: hmm yea I guess.
Hugo: Are you be filling it up all dee way?
me: Yea, do you just hold my card while I do that? I've never had to do it this way before.
Hugo: Yes, but the pum you park at izn werging.
I walk back out to my car with my keys in my hand to pull around and he's right out there behind me.
Hugo: You don't have to move, you can just use de pum from de other side.
So I put de pum from de other side into the tank, but soon realize I can't see how much gas I'm putting in the car. The pum hasn't got one of those little doo dads that keeps the gas pumping while you go do other things like wash your wind shield
and pick your nose. So I have to stop the flow a few times while I go back and forth to see how much I'm putting in.
I stop it at 21.00 dollars.. fuck, thats enough.
I go back inside to pay and get my receipt, then turn to my left for the door and see this woman standing in the doorway.
She's standing on the outside of the doorway.
She's a zombie.
Well, maybe not a zombie, but she looked like something from hitchhikers of the damned. She just had these dead looking eyes. What the hell?
I assume she's probably going to ask me for some change, directions to the closest liquor store...... a cup of spinal fluid.
When I get to the door and open it she has to step back a few inches and I notice she has a styrofoam cup of ice cream.
Zombie: Hi. I'm from the ice cream store next door. I just opened a few days ago. Would you like to try a nice parfait?" (as she sticks her arm out straight without bending her elbow like it's full of Prestone anti-freeze.)
Me: Uh................ no, no thank you. I'm.... meeting a ... I'm on my way somewhere... and. ..... and I don't have, no thank you...thank you."
I thanked her as if I was saying "BYE BYE! Thanks for letting me keep my brains! Have a good day! Is that your arm on the ground over there?" and got in the car and left.
I'm not too freaked out by strange people, but she was very very odd. I think it was just the way she was standing in the doorway staring and waiting for me to come out.
bleagh... this sucks. I'm buying a skateboard.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go buy some hamburger helper for the idea I just got for my next entry.